Spinal Tap

Yesterday I had to have a Spinal Tap to see why my right optical nerve is swollen.  The Dr. thinks that I have something called a pseudo tumor, which basically means when they look into my eyes it looks like I have a tumor  but in reality there is nothing there. This can be caused by many things: to much pressure in my head, MS, ect...  Hopefully it is just the pressure which I can take pills for and it will all be fixed.  If I don't fix it I could eventually loose my vision in my right eye. So needless to say I want this to be fixed.  Who knew that routine eye exams could be so vital to your health and not just a matter of needing or not needing glasses!  So anyways I had the spinal tap which was so not as bad as I had worried, and I couldn't go to the gym.  Got on the scale this morning  and I was up a pound.  WHAT!?!  Just one day of not doing perfect and missing the gym and I gain a pound, how frustrating is that!  


So today I went to work and was feeling some pain in my hip, not sure if it is from the morphine shot (that hurt worse that the spinal tap) or if it is from where he hit a nerve while doing the spinal tap.  Anyway it seemed to get worse as the day went on so I was beginning to really worry that the gym would be a no go again for today.  I cam home from work and took Ibuprofen and lay down while Josh grilled out. I got up to eat and realized that I felt better even though I still had some minor pain.  So we broke the boys hearts(they hate the gym) and headed to the gym.  I got in 1 hour on the elliptical and did some abs also.


I tell all of this because I'm very proud of myself for going!  After gaining a pound and hurting it would have been easy to just stay home, and 4 weeks ago I would have done just that!  But I'm not giving up this time, I know if I keep on keeping on that this weight will come off of me eventually!  So that's my motto for this week:  When things get tough just keep on keeping on!!!

4 weeks and 14 pounds later!

When I weigh Monday it will officially be 4 weeks since I started (I mean really started) this journey, and so far I am down 14 lbs!  I get a little frustrated because I'm impatient and I want to loose faster then I am!  Right now I'm averaging almost 3 lbs a week, so if I were to continue at this rate I would be at my goal weight in 23 more weeks which would make me healthy by 30, so I just try to keep that in mind!  I know that I'm working hard and I'm staying within my calorie range about 98% of the time.   I know that I'm making big changes in the way I exercise, eat, and think!  Today when we went out for lunch I noticed that I don't even look at the whole menu anymore, I go strait to the healthy foods that are usually highlighted or have an icon beside them. I'm also not scared to ask the waiter to have them make something a little different so that it fits more within my calories!  When we had some yummy cookies at work the other day I looked at the calories and decided they just were not worth starving later on in the day for.  I know that I am a work in progress and always will be and I'm just trying to keep on moving forward no matter how hard the journey gets or will get.  I thought I would include a list of some of the things that I  like about losing weight, exercising, and the gym in general!


Things that I like


1.  Josh and I have a new something in common.  We could talk about diet, supplements, protein, the gym, ect... all day long!  I love that when he goes on Saturdays that I go with him now and don't just sleep in.  He is also my number one fan!


2.  Missy , my personal trainer!  She is truly helping me get my life back together!


3.  I still don't have a great body image but it's getting better!


4.  I have more energy!  Today we went swimming, then I went to the gym and then came home and then we all went on a walk!


5. I have more confidence when in the gym!  I used to be so worried that everyone was laughing at me or making fun of me.  I have realized that is probably not true and even if it were I don't really care!


6. I feel stronger.  I have always considered myself a pretty weak person, even though I toted three huge babies around.  But each week I can see an improvement in what I'm lifting at the gym and my form!  Plus I can see that my ares are looking better!


I'm sure that as I lay in bed tonight that I will think of many more, but you get the jest of it!  I'm learning so much about myself through this process!  There are days when it is so hard to just make myself make it to the gym or to eat right and then there are days that it's like second nature and I don't even have to think about it!  I can't wait to hit my first goal, which is 20 lbs lost, but I know that everything takes time, especially weight loss.  If it were easy then everybody would do it!