Old Habits Die Hard

Old Habits Die Hard

Yes, it is probably one of the oldest cliches of all time, but also one of the truest and maybe even more so when talking about BAD habits.  My bad habit?  My bad habit is doing great through the week and then sabotaging my whole diet over the weekend.  I get up and get myself to the gym through the weekdays and I make myself eat right and I track all of my food and then comes the weekend (dun dun dun duuuun).  This weekend started out with a skating party with cookie cake, oh how I love cookie cake!  But I split mine with Eli so I did good and I was proud of myself. Then we went to eat Mexican and I promised myself that I wouldn't over do it, that I would count my chips out and that I would only have two fajitas and that's IT!  Well, the chip counting didn't go so well and I did only eat two fajitas but then I ate more chips with the yummy fajita stuff.  Afterwards I wanted to die!  I didn't feel good at all!  Which brings me to the question, why if I feel so bad do I still overeat? It's like I thought this was the last time for Mexican food EVER!  

Why do I sabotage my self?  I do really want to lose this weight, right?  Yes, of course I do, so what's my problem?  My problem is that I hate to disappoint ANYONE!  I am a "people pleaser" to the extreme.  I love spending time with my family and I hate to disappoint. So I go with the flow, knowing what I'm about to do to my diet.  In fact sometimes I am even the one who suggests going somewhere to eat.  I know that Josh loves (I mean LOVES) Mexican food, and I love him, so how do I show him I love him?  By going to a place he loves to eat!  I have come to realize that I'm almost never willing to let anyone down except myself! I will work until I'm blue in the face (yes, another cliche) to keep promises to people.  However, when it comes to my promise to myself to get healthy I just let that promise go!  Isn't that probably one of the most important promises I have made?  Isn't it not only a promise to myself but to my family, that I will be healthy so that I can be around for a long long time?  

My personal challenge to myself is to not only eat right this week but eat right through the weekend also!  This weekend will be a true test because we are having a Bible teacher's workday at church with lunch provided and then I have ANOTHER skating party to attend.   So make sure you check back next Monday to see how I do!

New Name, New Year, New Goals!

New Name, New Year, New Goals!

I had to change my blog name...why?  Because I'm not 30 and I'm not healthy!  That is, I'm not healthy YET!  I failed at getting healthy by 30, but that's in the past and the only way to get healthy is to move forward. I decided to bring my blog back because I have things that I want to say but Facebook just isn't the place for it.  So welcome to my new and improved blog!  I will be completely real, sometimes happy, sometimes not so happy.  I'm sure that I will add in some of my like that isn't directly related to weight loss too, hence the Real Mom part of my name.

The other day I was at Josh's gym (my gym is at Katty's Fitness) and I was getting ready to work out.  I looked in the mirror and I immediately hated myself!  I hated my whole body including the big zit on my forehead (hello puberty at 31 years old).  I wanted to quit before I even got on the floor. I fought the urge to cry and I fought the urge to leave.  I instead went out on the floor, found an elliptical machine, and worked out, VICTORY!  While working out I thought of how many women are probably just like me.  How many hate themselves.  How many are too ashamed to even go the gym.  How many feel lost in their own skin.  Maybe if someone who happens to feel like me, stumbles upon my little blog they will know that they aren't alone.  So just maybe while helping myself I will also help/inspire someone else.

Here are my goal for the rest of this month.

- Make it to the gym at least 4 times a week.

-Track my food (I use my fitness pal)

-Work on positive thinking.

And just in case you are wondering I weigh 220 lbs.  I did manage to keep off 15 lbs for a year, so yay for that!

Biggest loser expectations!

As many know I am probably one of the biggest "Biggest Loser" fans there is!  I mean I live for Tuesdays to come, and when they start getting on that scale I get as nervous for my favs as they do for themselves!  I love the show from beginning to end!  That being said I think that the show has warped our thinking and expectations of weight loss!  I want big numbers each week!  I want to not gain next week but instead have big numbers again!  If I don't get those numbers I feel as though I have failed and that will usually cause me to EAT!  It's a downward spiral!  I know that a lot of these people need to loose lots and lots of weight, but what ever happened to 2lbs being a great weight loss number for a week?  Most of us don't have the time to work out like these people do, but if your like me you don't see that, all you see is that huge number that they just lost!  It has created unreal and unsafe expectations for many of us!  So I'm here to tell myself it's okay if I only have a 2lb loss this week, and it's even ok if I stay the same next week! 

Tomorrow is a new, start a fresh beginning, a time to make the changes in my life that I need to make.  My mom hates the word resolution, she says that it is a set up for failure, so I will use the word goals!  I always have many goals for the new year.  For the past 5 years my main goal has been to get healthy, and this will be the last year for that goal.  When I write this post at this time next year it will be to stay healthy.


So goal 1- Get Healthy!  I have said that my main problem is the way I eat.  I exercise many times a week, but my weight isn't dropping.  It's my food addiction that is my main problem as of right now.  Much to my delight my gym is going to start hosting Weight Watchers on Sat. mornings!  I am extremely excited about this because I trust WW and the plan that they use.  After I had Scott I got down to a size 8 using WW and a at home fitness video.  So I have a personal reason to trust them!  And a bonus is that my gym offers child care, so no more worry as to who will watch them as I go to meetings!  I can just pack us up and go. After I'm done I can go get my work out on!


Goal 2-Think Positive!  This is such a down fall of mine.  I'm always criticizing myself!  I never feel good enough, never pretty enough, never a good enough mom or wife.  It's time that I start liking myself for who I am and to stop thinking so harshly about myself.  My children are going to learn how to criterion themselves if I don't stop.  So this year I will watch my words more carefully and try to retrain my thoughts.  And if I don't like something about myself then I will recognize it and try to change it instead of beating myself up on a daily basis.


Goal 3- Eat Cleaner!  This year I want to try a few new things with our diets.  Most of you know that my oldest has ADHD and all signs point to that my other two may have it also.  Our diet is one thing that I have absolute control over so this year I want to make fresher meals and snacks for all of us.  I want to have a garden and shop more at the farmers markets!  I want to try and incorporate more veggies into our diets then what we currently have!  This will be a huge challenge with Scott Cochran living in my house!  I want them to grow up knowing how to eat right.  Treats like cake and ice cream are fine but that's what they are "treats", not everyday snacks!  


Those are my three basic goals for this year...at least the beginning of the year as I am sure that I will add more as I go through the year!  I do have a time line of when I to achieve a few things, so if you're not too bored yet look below!


Feb 1st-be below 200, I'm currently at 214
March 1st-190 and start working towards my Personal Trainers Cert.
May 1st- 175 and schedule for our family to have professorial pictures taken
Aug 1-155 here is where I will reevaluate and decide if this is where I want to stay or loose down to 145.  If I  loose to 145 then I will reevaluate at that point again.  My goal is healthy and fit NOT bones and skin!
FYI- from now till Aug is 30 weeks, that puts me at 1.9lbs per week to get to my goal by then!


So there you have it!  I'm looking forward not backwards!  I hope that you all have a great new years!

I thought I would give an update since my 30th birthday is just 2 days away!  As in my last post I would love to say that I reached my goal this year, but I haven't.  I'm still down 20lbs from where I started so that it is a plus that at 30 I will have 20 less lbs to loose then at 29.  I have learned a lot through this past year and I'm still trying to figure out some things about my body and the way I personally loose weight.  At my weight I should be able to eat about 1700 calories a day and loose weight, however I seem to only be able to eat 1200 calories to loose weight.  I'm not sure the reason for this, maybe it's just the way my body works!  
Instead of focusing on the negative I thought I would give you some positives about this past year, and some things I learned.


1. Most obviously is that I am still down 20lbs and have maintained that for some time now.
2. I'm more comfortable in the gym and I really know what I'm doing (my eating is what I have to                  figure out) and how to get the most out of my workout.
3. I'm many inches smaller.  I wish I had measured those inches in the beginning, but I didn't so I don't know the exact number. Plus I'm down 2 pants sizes.
4. I've toned my arms quite a bit, and that I am proud of.
5.  I can lift more then some of the boys at the gym.
6.  I'm running sprints...despite my shin splints.
7.  I have found that I love going to the gym with Josh!
8.  I have more confidence.


I'm sure when I'm done writing this I will think of more things that I could have added to my list.  Now on to my goals for this next year in my life.  My main goal of course is to get back on track and finally get the rest of this weight off.  One thing that is becoming a really be drive for me is that I want to be a personal trainer and to do that I want to be in the best shape possible.  Another goal of mine is to start running some races.  like everyone else I'm sure I'll start out in some 5Ks and move to harder ones from there.  I'm also going to schedule a Dr. appointment to get some blood work done so maybe I can get some answers as to why I have to eat  fewer calories then what is recommended to loose weight. 


So there is my update!  I hope that you will join me in the fight to get healthy this year!

A long overdue update

I hate when I take forever to update because then I want to go on and on about everything over the last few months, but I don't want to be boring so I'll try to just go over a few things.

First off I'm currently 25lbs down.  I won second place in the contest I did and I got 4 six flags tickets! I got off track for about two months after the contest and gained back 7 lbs.  I have now lost 5 of those 7 in the last week.  It feels good to be eating right again.  I never stopped working out I just lost control of how I was eating.  I got this little calorie counter app on my phone that lets me put in what a ate and how many calories it was.  It's really simple and easy to use.  I like it because I don't have to look up my food in it's database to add it, it's more like what I would use if I were just writing down my food daily.  I do have another app that helps me when I eat out and such.  Gotta love those apps! 

I'm still training with Missy, I have four more weeks :(  I will be so sad when it's over.  However Josh will become my new trainer so I'm excited about that.  We have so much fun going to the gym together. I'm loving the gym more than ever! The kids hate it though...or at least they say they do.  I have to remind them that if they want me around for a long time then I have to be healthy.  

I still have such a long ways to go and some days it seems impossible, but then I have a week like this last one where I loose 5lbs and I know I can get there.  I'm still hoping to be in my weight range by Dec. 15th and at my personal goal by summer of next year.  I have 45lbs to go and about 21 weeks so that averages out to be 2.14lbs per week.  So it is still a very possible goal to get there.  

I have also rekindled my love of running.  I however have also rekindled shin splints, but I'm running anyways.  Running clears my head and gives me a new perspective on things that are bothering or worrying me.  I run outside, I loath the treadmill, so I also get that time to reflect on God and the wonderful world that He has made.  I think I'm more level headed when I run, I also think I have more patience.

So there is my quick update on my progress.  I look forward to school starting back so that maybe I can get in more of a routine and then maybe I can be better about updating this thing! 

Amy :)

Spinal Tap

Yesterday I had to have a Spinal Tap to see why my right optical nerve is swollen.  The Dr. thinks that I have something called a pseudo tumor, which basically means when they look into my eyes it looks like I have a tumor  but in reality there is nothing there. This can be caused by many things: to much pressure in my head, MS, ect...  Hopefully it is just the pressure which I can take pills for and it will all be fixed.  If I don't fix it I could eventually loose my vision in my right eye. So needless to say I want this to be fixed.  Who knew that routine eye exams could be so vital to your health and not just a matter of needing or not needing glasses!  So anyways I had the spinal tap which was so not as bad as I had worried, and I couldn't go to the gym.  Got on the scale this morning  and I was up a pound.  WHAT!?!  Just one day of not doing perfect and missing the gym and I gain a pound, how frustrating is that!  


So today I went to work and was feeling some pain in my hip, not sure if it is from the morphine shot (that hurt worse that the spinal tap) or if it is from where he hit a nerve while doing the spinal tap.  Anyway it seemed to get worse as the day went on so I was beginning to really worry that the gym would be a no go again for today.  I cam home from work and took Ibuprofen and lay down while Josh grilled out. I got up to eat and realized that I felt better even though I still had some minor pain.  So we broke the boys hearts(they hate the gym) and headed to the gym.  I got in 1 hour on the elliptical and did some abs also.


I tell all of this because I'm very proud of myself for going!  After gaining a pound and hurting it would have been easy to just stay home, and 4 weeks ago I would have done just that!  But I'm not giving up this time, I know if I keep on keeping on that this weight will come off of me eventually!  So that's my motto for this week:  When things get tough just keep on keeping on!!!